


i will love you without any strings attached

by hyunghoney



Series: superhero love story [3]
Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, Falling In Love, Hyungwon POV, Kihyun and Hyungwon have issues!, Late Night Conversations, M/M, Mentioned Lee Minhyuk (Monsta X), Possibly Unhealthy Relationship, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-12
Updated: 2020-01-12
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:22:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22227073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyunghoney/pseuds/hyunghoney
Summary: Hyungwon is a blink away from sleep when his love comes calling.It’s like a punch to the gut, or a splash of water to the face, the knowledge that somewhere in this city is his love, essential and alive, awake and wanting him around. A revived corpse, he sits up.
Relationships: Chae Hyungwon/Yoo Kihyun
Series: superhero love story [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1264703
Comments: 2
Kudos: 20





	i will love you without any strings attached

**Author's Note:**

> This side story takes place before the day Kihyun tells Minhyuk about the black hole, aka before their (SPOILER!) first kiss. 
> 
> It's written in Hyungwon's POV. Enjoy! 
> 
> (I listened to Atlas: Two by Sleeping at Last the entire time I wrote this, so maybe you can listen to it while reading!)

**26th MAY 2019**

Hyungwon is tired. But that’s just how he’s always been. 

He keeps his focus on the dim light of his laptop. It’s hot as Hades, burning his thighs. In it’s defense, it has been there for a few hours already. He keeps typing. If he gets this report done, they’re one step closer to catching another villain. Always one step closer, a breath nearer – to what, he can’t say; For every head ripped off, two grow in its place with fangs far longer and more venomous than the last. Every villain killed or captured seems to have a friend, child, or lover, ready to avenge them. He’s very tired. 

Nothing is real in his bedroom – this one attached to his office, not the awful one at home that he hates which is too big and cold and empty. (That’s a story for another day, one he doesn’t like telling.) 

Every object in this place is suspended in time and reality. They’re not real, not alive, always waiting to be reanimated by real people. A pen on the table, that one is his colleague’s, and will surely come alive again when it’s returned to its owner. A coat that’s draped across a chair, that belongs to Minhyuk, and it will become real when he next puts it on. His pillow and his sheets, they belong to no one, they have never been alive. 

And Hyungwon? 

Hyungwon is a blink away from sleep when his love comes calling. 

**FROM: GRAVITY**

**2019/05/26 2:02AM**

_ Can’t sleep!!!!!  _

Hyungwon wakes like a heart attack. It’s like a punch to the gut, or a splash of water to the face, the knowledge that somewhere in this city is his love, essential and alive, awake and wanting him around. His slumbering muscles summoned enough energy to make him smile. Had he been tired before? A revived corpse, he sits up. 

**TO: GRAVITY**

**2019/05/36 2:02AM**

_ Me neither :[  _

It is a lie. A little white lie, no matter. What is a lie? Nothing’s been true until this. 

The long day – Black Diamond this, the Kraken that, forensics this, emergency meeting that – none of that was real. It blows away as easy as a leaf in a gust of wind. Kihyun roots himself into Hyungwon’s world. Hyungwon would uproot everything for him, if he asked. 

**FROM: GRAVITY**

**2019/05/26 2:06AM**

_ because you’re always working!!!  _

_ workaholic _

_ idiot _

_ i knew you’d be awake _

**TO: GRAVITY**

**2019/05/36 2:07AM**

_ You know me too well ;) _

What he wouldn’t give for that to be true – for Kihyun to really  _ know _ him. He wants to turn his skin inside out just so Kihyun can trace its history. 

Instead he has to play this game of push-and-pull, this flirting and teasing and hiding and longing. Always longing, for him. It used to be fun. It had been fun to tease and poke at Kihyun’s rough exterior, to play along with the unspoken agreement that it really meant nothing, in the end. Hyungwon had enjoyed playing the love interest, the caretaker, the ally, the healer, the silent listener, anything at all that Kihyun needed him to be. 

But all these years later and nothing had changed; It hadn’t grown to mean anything at all. Kihyun is convinced that he needs to have nothing to lose, nothing to jeopardize his martyrdom. It’s an uncompromising ultimatum: all or nothing, the world or Hyungwon. It’s an easy choice for anyone to make. 

Sometimes, Hyungwon grows tired of being nothing. (It doesn’t make it stop.) 

**FROM: GRAVITY**

**2019/05/26 2:06AM**

_ Well if youre awake anyway _

_ im coming over  _

_ wanna train  _

Kihyun wants Hyungwon now, so his bones reanimate. 

His legs swing off the bed. His hands reach for either end of the blanket and fold it neatly. 

Then an hour later Kihyun arrives. Then they’re together in the darkened hallway of the SRGD. Fumbling at elevator buttons, stumbling over the darkness and silhouettes of furniture and each other. He trips over the edge of a carpet. Kihyun stables him – a hand around his arm, holding him close. A breathless laugh. 

It’s so dark. Everything swirls and melts together, shadow upon shadow upon shadow. 

Kihyun watches him dig in his pocket for the keys to the training room. 

Hyungwon relaxes some when the lights turn on. 

Things are friendlier in the light. Things are more real here, in this bright room where it could’ve been any time of the day. Kihyun puts down his phone and shrugs off his jacket. Hyungwon puts them by his side, comrades in a way. All waiting to be revived when Kihyun comes back. It’s a game of waiting, a contest of suspense. 

He watches Kihyun. The sleeves of his black shirt are rolled up to his shoulders. There’s a healed-over cut on his arm, where SINCO had injured him. A bruise on his elbow from training with Minhyuk. Kihyun is always hurt, or recovering, or getting hurt. Like the universe doesn’t understand how precious of a deal it got with him, acting like a spoilt brat and breaking its pretty toys. Hyungwon wants to keep him safe, to draw fire away from him until he’s rested enough to fight again. 

(Although, thinking back to what Kihyun is capable of, destroying buildings and creating black holes, it might be the whole world that has to be protected from Kihyun instead.) 

“Are you seriously just gonna sit there and let me train all by myself?” Kihyun asks. 

His grin is a teasing challenge. His stance is open, practically begging Hyungwon to try and attack him, because he knows it’ll happen. Smug bastard. Hyungwon draws his knees to his chest. He loops his hands around them. He nods his head. 

“Come on, Doctor. Come at me. I’ll go easy on you.” 

Kihyun is on fire tonight. Hyungwon’s insides are on fire. His heart too, and his cheeks, and his logic – He keeps up the dance, keeps flirting. Much good that’ll do him. 

“And let the strongest Super in the country beat me to a pulp? Yeah, right.” 

He says it because he knows it’ll make Kihyun smile. True enough, there is a smile on his love’s face brighter than a lightning bolt, a rolling of the eyes. He can nearly feel Kihyun’s ego take up two times more space in the room than it did a second ago. He can’t bring himself to regret it. 

“Flattery will get you everywhere,” Kihyun says approvingly, jokingly blowing him a kiss. Hyungwon feels the phantom of it on every inch of his body. “I’ll go easy on you, weakling.” 

Hyungwon clutches his heart like his feelings are hurt. All the better to have an excuse to put a hand over his heart, now more alive than ever. 

“You know, this could be considered abusing your superior strength.” He teases breathlessly – every inch of him is alight with excitement. Kihyun smiles at that. Hyungwon just about catches on fire. He could do this all night, if Kihyun allowed him. 

In the end, Kihyun just beckons him over with an open palm and how can he say no? He can never resist Kihyun, never wants to either. 

So they stand in the middle of the training ring, Kihyun in his training clothes, a warrior raring to go, Hyungwon in a green hoodie and pajama pants, still blinking sleep from his eyes. They circle each other slowly. 

Kihyun is all of a sudden being a gentleman, so Hyungwon has to make the first move. Kihyun dodges his kick, takes his lifted leg with one hand and flips him to the ground. Was that ‘fight’ even one second long? The pattern repeats: A kick or a punch, undelivered, then Hyungwon is landing on his face or his back. Pain blossoms in the places he’s hit the ground. He doesn’t mind. He’s never felt more alive (and not to undermine Kihyun, but he’s had much worse and come out none the worse). 

One time Kihyun tackles him and they fall together, crashing to the floor. Kihyun is a little shorter than him, but that doesn’t stop him from taking the brunt of the fall. Only when Hyungwon feels his cheek brushing the heat of Kihyun’s chest, does he realise he’s landed in his arms. In this position, he can hear his heartbeat, accelerated from the exercise. He’s sure his own is even wilder than the sound he hears. 

It is so comfortable to just lie here like this. 

But Kihyun’s body is already moving restlessly under him. Some unknown reason is spurring Kihyun on, encouraging him to keep pushing himself. Hyungwon removes himself from Kihyun’s arms before Kihyun has to do it himself. The dance continues.

At 4:29AM he asks, “Are you seriously not tired yet?”. Kihyun lets up only when Hyungwon begs for mercy in between bouts of laughter. At 4:49AM, Kihyun crashes onto his bed. 

Hyungwon sits on the edge of it. His head inclines slightly towards Kihyun, whose eyes are closing, legs curling around the bunched-up blankets, hair falling over his face. He breathes evenly, in, out, in, out. If Hyungwon was anyone else, he would believe Kihyun was asleep. He’s clearly trying to look like the very picture of relaxation. But his hands are flexing into the sheets, his knuckles stark white. 

A part of Hyungwon wishes he hadn’t seen that. That’s the selfish part, the part he wishes doesn’t exist: It asks,  _ When will he come to me just to be with me? _ and  _ Why must there always be something wrong? _ and demands to know how long he has to hold his love’s heart without it ever being his. He smothers that voice. 

“You expect me to believe really came all this way just to sleep in my bed?” Hyungwon asks. He switches to his ‘knowing’ eyes and fixes Kihyun with a gaze. Kihyun pulls the blanket over his face as if he’s trying to avoid the conversation. 

“No, I also came to beat the shit out of you,” he says, words muffled by the blanket. 

Hyungwon climbs fully onto the bed and pulls the blanket right off him. Kihyun throws a hand over his face. Stubborn, as always. Hyungwon tugs his hand off too, and holds it in both of his own to stop him from hiding again. 

“Talk.” 

Kihyun keeps his eyes closed, but gives in with a sigh. As if Hyungwon is forcing the truth from his unwilling lips, as if he doesn’t want to talk, as if he hadn’t come all this way just to spill his heart to the one person who will always be there to listen. Hyungwon just smiles at him, encouraging. 

“I want to tell Minhyuk.” He says. “I want to tell him about the… thing that happened. With the black hole.” 

Oh. Hyungwon doesn’t know why he’s surprised. He stays quiet. 

Kihyun prefers to just talk with no interruptions, speaking his stresses to the unanswering silence rather than having conversations. When Hyungwon pushes, he hides. So Hyungwon has learned to stop pushing and just wait for his love to hand his heart over. 

“You know. Eight years ago.” 

Hyungwon nods. How could he not know? The incident is branded into his mind, as clear as day, clearer than Kihyun knows. 

“I know it sounds crazy…” Kihyun sighs. Hyungwon rubs circles with his fingers into the back of Kihyun’s hand, silently encouraging him to keep talking. “But I really feel like I can trust him.” 

Hyungwon understands. 

Minhyuk is righteous like Kihyun, brave like Kihyun, and kinder. He tells bad jokes and doesn’t like to train, but he smiles prettily and loves openly. Above everything, Minhyuk is beautifully honest, idealistically good. Hyungwon, his heart already full of Kihyun, somehow found it in himself to fall for Minhyuk too. He’d trust Minhyuk, so why shouldn’t Kihyun?

From the moment they first met, even through the arguments and annoyance and complaints, Hyungwon saw Kihyun becoming captivated by Minhyuk. His brave, stubborn nature won Kihyun’s begrudging respect from the very beginning. When they began to work together, his bright personality and unflappable cheerfulness made Kihyun wholeheartedly like him. And after everything they went through together, of course Kihyun trusts him. 

Minhyuk makes it look easy, to earn Kihyun’s love. 

“If you’ve already decided you want to tell him, then why are you asking me?” 

Kihyun opens his eyes at last. He turns to Hyungwon. 

“I want you to persuade me not to. Make it convincing.” 

It is a nonsensical command, almost hypocritical. Kihyun wouldn’t ask this of anyone else, nor would Hyungwon agree to this for anyone else. But if Kihyun is asking, Hyungwon would say yes to anything, even if Kihyun asked him to dig his own eyes out and hand them over. So he begins to fight the already-lost battle. 

“You’ve kept it a secret all these years. To tell someone now would defeat the purpose of hiding for so long..” 

Kihyun shakes his head, unconvinced. “I told you, too, didn’t I?”

Hyungwon tries a different argument, eager to please. “You can’t be sure that it won’t spread around after you tell him.” 

Kihyun frowns. Hyungwon’s heart sinks a little. 

“No. I told you I trust him.” There’s an edge of frustration to his words. Kihyun is getting impatient already. Without any good reason, panic stirs in Hyungwon’s heart. 

His mind whirs. Every argument goes unpursued, every objection rejected. Hyungwon doesn’t know what Kihyun really wants from him — permission, debate, or nothing at all? He hates not knowing. 

After a few rounds of such a battle, Kihyun closes his eyes. Hyungwon stares openly. He’s supposed to be good at thinking and logic. But Kihyun’s lips are soft and full, his beautiful features accentuated, the ceiling light casting shadows upon his face. How could he possibly concentrate?

“Then... why don’t you just tell him?” He asks eventually. 

Kihyun breathes out. His eyes open and flit to Hyungwon’s face, then lose interest, shuttering closed again. 

Hyungwon opens his mouth again, but there is nothing he wants to say, so he sits like a fool by Kihyun’s resting form, slack-jawed. It remains like this for a while. Hyungwon stares and stares, waiting for a verdict. (Although it is possible that Kihyun is asleep.) 

“Okay,” Kihyun answers at last, quiet as a whisper. 

In a series of swift motions, he pushes himself off the bed and makes his way to the door. Hyungwon blinks and the light from the office streams in, illuminating the two of them. Kihyun’s expression is blank. 

Did he get it right? Is Kihyun satisfied, or has he failed? He can’t even raise his voice to ask. Kihyun steps out of the door so fast, like he’s running away. 

“Good night,” Hyungwon calls out, desperately. 

Kihyun, having gotten what he wanted, has already walked out of the second door, and is too far away to reply. He’s done nothing wrong, yet some twisted sense of embarrassment fills Hyungwon’s chest.  _ How long, how long more…  _

He sits like this, facing the door, staring into the office, at the other door which is also open. Kihyun just left them both ajar, knowing Hyungwon would surely put everything back in order after he is gone. Hyungwon gets to his feet slowly. He drags his feet through the first door. He doesn’t spare a glance to the things in the lab, only sluggishly reaching out to shut the door before walking back to his bedroom. He shuts this door too. 

It’s almost 5:30am. Like this, his night has ended. His alarm will ring soon. Annoyance and frustration battle in him, but are both defeated by exhaustion. Hyungwon is so tired. But that’s just how he’s always been. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I realise that Kihyun comes off a little asshole-ish in this story and I really am sorry for that, I love him a lot but the man has issues! And so does Hyungwon! Will they be resolved? You and I are both wondering that... But I'll do my best :D
> 
> Also I know it has been MONTHS since the last Superhero Love Story update, so time for some excuses:  
> I had A Levels in November so I couldn't write, then in December I was avoiding MX stuff due to Reasons then this month I had to do university applications... But I will try to get Chapter 7 up by this month or early next month! It's a very intense chapter so I gotta do it right! 
> 
> I hope you all liked this short side story!! I was just experimenting with a new style of writing but it slowly became my usual style again so I'm not very happy :'( Also, I didn't know where this story was going when I started writing, I just wanted to immerse myself in Hyungwon's mind and think of Kihyun the way he does, and this is what resulted. 
> 
> ALSO I made a writing twitter which is @authjams so go follow it if you want updates about my writing and Superhero Love Story! 
> 
> Please (please) leave kudos and comment to let me know what you think!


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